China and Spain.

This is Spain.

This is China.

and these are the beautiful flowers i received from my beautiful Broun--for 8 'blooming' months together! 

i miss China.

i miss the 25 different smells from one corner to the next.

i miss the excitement of seeing the sun in clear view.

i miss the child-like nervousness of my Chinese friends as they spoke English for the first time with a foreigner.

i miss the daily reminder of surrender in the selfless, loving attitude of my Chinese friends.

i miss the humility i received after every meal...*cough*

i miss being able to witness a realization of the state of one's lost soul.

i miss the minute by minute weight of God's work at hand through the Holy Spirit

's divine presence infiltrating the marrow of my bones.

i miss experiencing the depths of Jordan, Angel, and Emily's souls through a study of God's Word.

i miss the choir we created while trying to speak in tones.

i miss the making of spiritual metaphors for literally everything, including the pollution in the air. 

but more so,

i am thankful for China.

i am thankful for my senses being heightened from that- the persecuted Church-in all arenas of my faith. 

thank you for China, my God! 

but i live in Spain now. and as i'm reminded by Elizabeth Elliot, "Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living." be it ANY season of life, i think the nature of the fallen human race is dissatisfaction.....whether our situation in life seems absolutely glorious or horrendously frightening. we want that "greener grass on the other side". i pray against that. especially here in Spain, as i crave feelings from my time in China, or as i long for friends and family and loved ones and the comfort of other believers. i'm here. i'm positively confident of the Divine hand in my placement here. right now, with these people. it's just another opportunity for the spread of the Greatest news in the history of the universe.

my impression of this culture wasn't the persecution...more of the culture being satisfied in non-eternal things, and not understanding their need for a Savior. here, it seems completely normal to wallow in confusion, sin, and the like without worrying about the consequences. and for me, this is harder to "deal" with than a bowl of fish swimming in the same aimless direction year after year (China).(<--anyone get that reference?)

i'll stop here. 

but i guess this an exhortation to myself (and to whoever wants an exhortation) that "wherever you may be, be all there". let not your longing slay the appetite for your living.