Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Refinery

Seriously though, I don't even know where to begin. I do know that it IS time for me to begin, wherever it may be. 

Hace alrededor de 2 meses hasta he escrito en mi blog, pero it's NOW that I'm ready to reflect to you pretty people the ins and outs of what has seemed like a hectic "holiday".

In brief: I went home to the states in late December to surprise Broun (with the help of his wonderful secret-keeping family), give/receive love from family and friends, and to support Allie Marie Perry in her new journey of wifehood. It was very relajante, and I am certainly grateful for that break. My spirit needed rejuvenating in more than one way, but I think I expected more out of others for my "filling" than I did myself or my God. A shame, but nontheless, a learned lesson as of late.

One of the biggest struggles I had last semester was dealing with the lack of believers around me...and being able to confidently press on in the way of the Lord when I saw no fruit and had not a soul with whom I could experience the magic of Jesus. Woe is me, right? NAW. So after a lot of prayer and pleading for God to show me some blanket truth of His peace, I think God decided that the exact opposite of DISCRETE was what I needed from Him. Oh, what mercy.

The moment I stepped off the plane here in Malaga, I met my first group of Christians. I decided to go into a tienda to buy a bottle of water before my bus ride, and I saw a girl wearing American Eagle jeans and I immediately knew I could speak English to her. "Are you American?"..."haha, yes."..."awesome, what are you here for?"..."i'm with that big group out there. we're here for a conference."..."oh, are you with a school organization, church group, what?"..."actually yeah, we're with Campus Crusade."...."seriously? you don't know how much of an answered prayer you are. i actually went on summer project this summer in East Asia."...
so we continued our conversation, and I praised God with (nearly) tears of joy. We exchanged information, and they went on their way. Comfort from the first moment I landed. What a good God we have.

I get back to my apartment, I settle in for a bit, and finally fall asleep--to wake up and teach the next day. I checked my email briefly before heading out, and Lindsey has emailed me...and her last line told me to read Isaiah 40. So, during the 20 minute tram ride on the way to school while the sun is coming up from the point where the sea and the mountains meet, I read Isaiah 40. My heart and my soul were craving those words exactly--after 3 months feeling like i've been dragged through the wilderness(here in Spain) in terms of spiritual warfare, I am greeted with this cushion of truth and the reality of answered prayer from my Lord as i returned. -- 
Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and cry to her that her warfare is ended, that her iniquity is pardoned, that she has received from the Lord's hand double for all her sins. A voice cries; "In the wilderness prepare the way of the Lord; make straight in the desert a highway for our God. Every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountain and hill be made low; the uneven ground shall become level, and the rough places a plain. And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together, for the mouth of the Lord has spoken."    40:1-5

May it be so! Then, at the end of the chapter--I'm reminded again:

Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God"? Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable; He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. 40:27-31

I thank my God for His word. I thank my God for Lindsey Boone. For putting Emily Hills, a new friend and believer, in my life with whom to share and study the Word. For the Chitty family, missionaries from England and Ireland, who have started a church here (at which I have the pleasure of worshiping). For a new found hope that is Christ in me. 

This sounds like an obituary or something I might want written on my grave, but seriously guys. I've been wrecked in new ways, and have died again in a sense--to my selfish desires and expectations. I am FULL. Full. full. I have so much joy and hope in what the Lord is doing. In prayer, in fellowship, in relationships, in teaching, in SPAIN. 

One more thing. Lindsey Boone gave me this amazing metaphor as well, and I've [not so] coincidentally had 3 other conversations about it this week with other friends-- Do you know how silver is purified? The silversmith holds the silver in the hottest part of the flame. He keeps it there for as long as it takes to see his reflection in the silver.  

For my name's sake I defer my anger, for the sake of my praise I restrain it for you, that I may not cut you off. Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction. 
Isaiah 48:9-10

Amen.